Facebook statuses for the year 2025

Does anyone still use this thing? Lol

Remember when those Spongebob memes were a thing? God, that feels like so long ago.

If I see one more Gatsby-themed party pop up on my timeline... We get it. It's the roaring 20's. Good on ya.

Здравствуйте товарищи

Dude, this doublespeak thing looked so much worse in 1984.

We really thought we'd have hover cars by now. Instead, we've got more memes of Kermit the Frog.

At least Seth MacFarlene's still going strong

That's what we waited for? That's where they went with Star Wars? Really? Solo was so much better. #BringBackHan

Convince your plant to live

You're so beautiful! My life hasn't been the same since you've become a part of it. I look at you every morning when I wake up. Your vibrancy gives me hope. Every glimpse of you reminds me of good times, of serenity, of peace. The smell of you wakes me up, encourages me to recognize the beauty and light around me. "Wake up and smell the roses" is not just a phrase anymore. It saddens me to watch you wilt, to see the life you might've had, the wonders you might've created. I can't imagine what I'll do with the space when you leave. You brighten the days of those around you! But you musn't stay for my and my selfish reasons. You have to live because the sun shining upon your face gives you life, because the water you drink keeps you strong! You must live because the Earth wants you to stand tall; you need to live so others might. Though a heavy burden to bear, I know you are strong enough. You need to live so that you can see the smiling faces around you, so that you can feel the soft breeze.

But, ultimately, you must live because you want to. And, my dear orchid, I hope you do.

What can happen in a second?

Their eyes locked. Her heart gave a funny flutter; her lips parted as her breath caught. Dimly, she registered that his eyes were the color of the sea.

A strange, strangled sound escaped my lips. I am weightless. The world stills, the room holding its breath. The only thing anchoring me is my foot caught on the leg of the table.

It's that moment between when you jump and when you land. That moment that's too quick for your mind to capture and make sense of all of your thoughts. So, you just feel pure, unadulterated emotion. It's the moment after you think, "What have I done?" The moment where you're completely free, filled with equal parts joy and fear. It's intoxicating.

Emotions flit past like falling rain, each too fast to catch and understand.

He looked down at the bundle in his arms. She squirmed, yawning, and finally opened her eyes. They were the deepest shade of brown, like nothing he'd ever seen before. In that moment, in that instant, he became the father of the most precious girl in the universe. She looked up at him with those big brown eyes and the world stopped.

The worst Thanksgiving dish you ever had.

I wrinkled my nose, turning around on the couch.
My cousin frowned. "What's that smell?"
My aunt came around the corner, carrying a casserole dish. The top was covered with tinfoil, but steam still escaped from the crevices.
"I tried something new!" she chirped. "You all have to try it."
Reluctantly, my cousin and I approached the buffet. The offensive casserole sat nestled between the meatloaf and salad, its stink wafting through the living room. As my aunt lifted the tinfoil, I saw it. This mushy, amorphous, gray-green blob, stuffed into a rather unfortunate paisley dish. Wrinkled, once-crisp onions were sprinkled on the top, sticking haphazardly from cracks in the surface of the casserole. When my aunt shoved a serving spoon into the center, it pitifully sank to one side with a sickening squelching sound.
"Dear God," said my cousin. "What is that?"
My aunt grinned. "A new recipe for green bean casserole. Doesn't it look delicious?"
"It looks like dog crap."
Slowly, I spooned a bit of the casserole onto my plate. It plopped from the spoon, sliding along the plastic plate like mud. The mixture of the onions, and whatever the gray stuff was, wafted upwards and I resisted the urge to gag. Holding my breath, I took a bite.
It was slimy, like worms slithering down my throat, and it tasted like someone had melted marshmallows over rotten onions. I almost couldn't swallow it. As it was, I took a swig of juice.
My aunt stared at me with hopeful eyes. "Well? How is it?"
I grimaced. "So good."
"I'm glad you like it! I'll make sure to send some home with you, baby doll."
My cousin conspiratorially whispered, "It'll never end."
Then, with my aunt still grinning up at me, I took another bite.